After tackling such subjects as how to avoid a lion attack and why other breakfast cereals should replace Cheerios as finger-food for babies, hunting down answers to the burning questions about Ugly Betty, and cross-examining self-described "tactless" knitter and "bad mama" Paulina Porizkova about America's Next Top Model, L.A. writer Kate Hahn decided to make her mark as a fashion historian. In her just-released book, Forgotten Fashion
, she plumbs the "Beatrice P. Fruit Archives" at the "College of the Willows" for such once-celebrated fashion fads as Ice Beading and the Four O'Clock Dress.
It's deadpan social satire in a tone Hahn describes as "glamorous dark humor...inspired by things like Edward Gorey and the Limony Snicket series." In each of the supposedly historic episodes, everything goes wonderfully until some sort of "regrettable incident or unlucky moment" ends the fun. Here, with illustrations by Andraé Gonzalo of Project Runway fame, is a sample chapter, with a special offer at the end. [VP]
Frigidaire Formals, 1950
Sometimes, it all begins with a muse.

When Gaston Darchez first laid eyes on Kaitlyn Anderson, she was removing a silver tray of Jell-O parfaits from a sparkling new 1950 Frigidaire Imperial refrigerator. Kaitlyn was six feet tall, with flame red hair and skin so white that it had been alternately described by her series of minor poet boyfriends as "milky," "snowy," "ghostly," or by the less metaphorically inclined, "pale." Her long spine gave her a slightly concave posture, which had once led her pediatrician to predict a lifetime of expensive medical treatments. But by the time 21 year-old Kaitlyn crossed Darchez’s line of vision, her backbone had become her fortune.
Kaitlyn was one of the few people in the world with the innate ability to hold her torso in a nearly perpetual C-curve, which at the time was considered the ultimate posture of a high-fashion model. She had been discovered by an art director, and embarked on a very successful career posing for illustrated magazine advertisements. It was in this capacity that Darchez, an expatriate French former fashion designer, first saw her. He had been hired to draw the ad for the 1950 Frigidaire Imperial. Kaitlyn had been contracted to be part of the picture. Her elegant form, swathed in a sky blue ball gown and curved over the tray of gelatin treats, suggested that the icy confines of the refrigerator emitted breezes that could transform anyone’s life into a glamorous one, and give pedigree to even the most pedestrian desserts.
For Darchez, the scene was simply a series of colors and shapes to be put on paper, until the moment Kaitlyn unwound from her C-curve, and stood up straight. "She dominated the entire room," he wrote. "And I knew what I had to do to become a fashion designer again: go big." The Frenchman had worked in all the great Parisian fashion ateliers, but was never chosen as an assistant, and so had come to the US, bitter and angry, promising to abandon couture and "become an illustrator of the hulking monstrous machines and the lazy and wasteful women who use them." But in truth he was haunted by the popularity of Christian Dior’s New Look of 1947 and longed to create a style that would have the same meteoric impact on fashion.

At the sight of Kaitlyn beside the modern ice box, he decided "hope lies in hugeness." The drawing studio had the same high ceilings as the abodes of the Parisian elite – Darchez’s desired customers. He knew that all of these privileged women harbored the same secret wish: to enter the elaborate parties held in these cavernous rooms in gowns so stunning they would make all the other guests blend into the parquet floors. To become their next design darling, Darchez would have to make dresses that would dominate these spaces like no one before him: evening gowns on a gargantuan scale. "Double doors will become triples to accommodate their entrances, and grand staircases will look like matchstick ladders beside them," he wrote. "I will transform every woman into Kaitlyn."
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